Being Black is Whack? Vicki Irvin

So we are back discussing the ugly skin color battle again, huh?

I didn’t catch Oprah’s entire show but this discussion is nothing new. My heart breaks to know and see women feel less of a person or feel self-hatred because of their skin color.

We all know society’s portrayals of women and who is DEEMED beautiful includes lighter skinned women and the Euro look. Years of having that shoved down your throat is bound to take it’s toll on anyone, as imagery is very powerful.

The color black has been used to describe EVERYTHING bad in our society! Black clouds, black storms, a black heart, wear black when someone dies. BLACK =BAD, that is what we see all day everyday!

What’s even sadder is when our fellow African Americans buy into it and it causes a divide within the entire race.

I could go into the entire history of how this happened during slavery, but we all know that story too.  And while I can’t impact the WHOLE world, my desire today is to let EVERY SINGLE woman know she is beautiful.

I also implore all women to encourage each other,  compliment each other, and stop tearing each other down. Hair and skin should NOT define who you are or how you are treated.

My heart aches for women who grew up in households where their own moms or dad treated them differently because perhaps they were the darkest of the children.  But we also have to forgive them because they were only doing what was done to them.

I remember being younger and my dad heard me talking about “good” hair! He immediately stopped me and told me there was no such thing as GOOD hair.  He told me what GOD gave everyone was good enough and to never use that term again.  This was especially impactful for me coming from a man who indeed had the “good” hair that everyone else so badly wanted. My dad is very light-skinned with straight hair.  Hearing him set me straight put me on a path to do the same for my friends and family whenever I heard such nonsense because it is NONSENSE!  I am grateful to have had that example early on!

So today, in my own small way I ask you to please love yourself. To embrace who you are and what God gave you despite what you see on TV and despite the cruelty of others.

Self-worth should NEVER be measured by skin color, hair texture or anything that superficial.  There are good and bad people in this world of ALL races, ALL hair textures and ALL skin colors.

Even if you take a moment to compliment a woman in the store.  Tell her she looks pretty today, tell her you like her nail polish, there is ALWAYS a kind word for someone!

AND PLEASE… do not tell a dark-skinned women she is pretty “to be dark-skinned.” That is NOT a compliment, it is an insult.  Simply tell her she is beautiful….PERIOD!  Because she IS!

Cheers to Business, Beauty & Balance,


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